Broken Light

Today, for my final installation media project I took a light bulb and smashed it against a plinth. The light bulb was surprisingly strong and it took a while to break, and by that I mean the bulb actually broke the wood before it broke.
When it broke it cut my hand (not bad at all) and exploded onto the audience, I had no idea this was going to happen and I feel stupid because my teacher completely reamed me out about it and how I put my entire class in danger.

Fuck.

My favorite word apparently.

T minus

So this is the week I go into that tent for five days.
I'm getting really nervous. I've never spent that much time in one space and I'm starting to think I may not be able to.
All I'll have is a pen and paper- no books, no computer, no fucking entertainment at all.

And yet I still don't know why I'm going to do it.
I don't know it's purpose.

Confusing.

Oh yeah, later on if I'm bored I'll post some Iqaluit stuff.. where this project spawned from!

A need to create.

The paradox that I'm experiencing at this point in my life may or may not have to do with the lack of physical creation I have done lately.

I feel as if, actually, I know that film will not push me, cannot push me any further than it already has. Which is a lot, but... but, I need to feel more. Feel more, with my hands, touch more- I need to create physical art.

The digital medium is killing this for me, even this blog isn't physical enough. I need more dimensions. I need an object.

Tomorrow I will create a viewing centre for my under the train piece. I will draw the plans tonight.

I want to touch art.

Cabin Fever

I'm starting to get nervous about my performance/installation final- I don't know how I'm going to do it, stay isolated for that amount of time, furthermore I don't know what I'm trying to say and that really bothers me.

I just can't seem to think about any other than school yet, I feel as if I am accomplishing nothing that has to do with school.

The Cremaster Cycle

Today from 4pm to 11pm the Pacific Cinematheque played The Cremaster Cycle. It was one of the most incredible film going experiences I've had. Lot's of people were falling asleep, but I couldn't shut my brain down- so amazing. I wish the DVD's weren't one hundred thousand dollars (I'm serious)

I'm pretty tired now, maybe I'll write more about it tomorrow.

Gotta set my alarm so I can register for the Wood Sculpture class!! It opens up to students who aren't majoring in Sculpture tomorrow and there's only one spot left in the class! I want it so bad. 7:30am, I'll be clicking the Register button!

http://www.cinematheque.bc.ca/matthew-barney’s-cremaster-cycle

FRIDAY THE 13TH

Hell yeah.

School School School

I love school.
I hate school.

I love school.

I hate school.

I love school.

I hate school.

I love school.

I hate school.

I love school.

I hate school.

I love school.

I hate school.

I love school.

I hate school.

I love school.

I hate school.

I love school.

I hate school.

I love school.

I hate school.

This is how I've always felt.

Always.

I hate it, and I love it.

Without it I feel like I'm not progressing enough (this is my own fault, people can do fine without school).

With it, I feel like it holds me back.

I'm in a constant state of purgatory when it comes to school.

Emily Carr University in half an hour I'll leave my house and come to you, you are a prison. You set me free.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Oh man, it's that end of year fever, I've got it again.

Or is that H1N1?

My mom has it, my dad has it, my step mom has it, and my little sister has it.

I live on the other side of the country though so I'm not worried about catching it from them.... Although I did spend four days in close contact with my mom while she was sick with it and we didn't know.

UH OH!

I feel fine though, unless going mad is a part of it.